Ok, its HARD work but I can do it!!

Stucked at Ar-Rahmaan.

Had not been in class due to very busy schedule. So tired to go to class, the mind is exhausted.

But that should not be an excuse. I still remember Ustaz told me that he believes I can khatam my hifz. With such conviction and confidence he said..I must prove him right! Insya-Allah amin.

Stucked at Ar-Rahmaan and as-sajdah then its test time. I need to set a goal for this year. Time is running out soon. I need to get back on my feet to those glory days , i need to be motivated. Push everything aside for a moment and persevere! I know I can do it! And I will!

I need this!

I dunno what to do...

I admit, I felt so GUILTY. I was too engrossed with my work that I neglect something precious dearest to my heart...my best friend the Holy Quran.

I wanna cry but I can't
I wanna shout at the top of my voice "HELP" but I can't

I just can doa in my heart with all my sincerity that God help me
Help me in opening the right path for me again
a better way for my heart to allow Al-Quran back into my life

What has happen to me?

Why did I allow such tragedy to happen?

Why am I so engrossed in chasing worldly gains?

I dunno....

I had been invited time and again to embraced Hifz and yet I did not treasure that invitation and cherish the time I had on earth.

What is wrong with me? I dunno

I am at loss..
I need to get back on my feet.

Stop, look and listen.
Listen to my heart and Al-Quran.
Read those hadiths and understand them by heart
Practise it!

I know i can do it!
I am and I will conquer this hurdle.
Because I know i am the BEST!
Insya-Allah.

Motivational tools

I often heard that Human beings only use 1% of their brains... (What happens to the rest?!!!)

SO lack of motivation since I'm on a lone mission (in my household that is), I started to read many types of motivational books. I borrowed from libraries and also bought a few such as Lahirnya seorang jutawan, the birth of a millionaire by Azizi Ali.

U must be wondering why has millionaire and hifz got in common. Actually this book builds up my goals as I goes by. Because it illustrates that anyone can be Millionaires if u want to. And there was a time where I said and listen a nearby mosque Azan and somehow the particular sentences "Haiya Alas Solah, Haiya Alal falah...Let us pray and let us go towards excellence.

Somehow deep down some thing clicked. We were asked to achieve excellence in everything and that includes work. And I believed that Huffaz are the ones that are Millionaires. Because they memorized a book that contains so much information of anything and everything that cannot be found even in encyclopedia.

Thus I believed that they have inside info to be millionaires. But once the memorized the Holy Quran, I believed they are "Millionaires of info" not money but information...wide vast of information that are useful.

Anyway, I read this book to build up the confidence , the motivations and goals that are slowly slipping away since I embark in homemaker. I used to be a dynamic work person often multitasking and able to work well under pressure and active thus when I chose to nurse and take care of my kids full-time, part of me is gone. That career-mindedness is gone. MY future looked bleak. I was only motivated to mould my kids to be a success, future hufffaz and others but none for myself. I began to feel inferior and often, turn down my working friends invitation to meet-up for fear that I felt so lowly and thus no similar interest or whatsoever.

After reading a few books such as DARE, fight your fear ...I began to feel that there is a fire inside me , growing , motivating me to memorize again...start from scratch (Actually I stop for awhile because I felt that I'm not good enough, because I felt that I don't deserve to memorize the Holy Quran but then...not many will be "INVITED" to memorize the Holy Quran.So I should be thankful.Alhamdulillah.) I've tried convincing a fair deal of people to memorize the Holy Quran be it the beginners or those who are good in reciting. But not a single one willing to carry that responsibility (my circle only). I've told them that anyone (even though u are not good Al-Quran reciters)can be Huffaz. Just need a great determination and good niat. The rest will be open to you slowly.

Once u take the plunge , the doors will open wide for u.

SO get a huffaz to teach you and get ijazah till khatam Al-Quran.I believe any Muslim can do it irregardless of age. (What I wrote is to motivate myself too). Its never too late...seriously, trust me. I am doing it...so why can't u.

I have my ups and downs but I wont GIVE up, insya-Allah, I doa...