Yesterday'c class...

I do not know why Sura Ar-Rahmaan is a challenge for me but insya-Allah it has its blessing in disguise.

So I came early around asar to squeeze in some ayats that failed to register while reading at home. I like the ambience at the kampung Siglap furthermore, there are many budding huffaz around so I hope that my duas/wishes will be granted. amin.

So somehow I did get to squeeze in half a page of sura Ar-Rahmaan in between the crevices of my tiny brain.

Then night falls, slowly staggered myself with heart beating fast towards class. Today it is full house 16 people! This has got to be one of the most packed adult hifz class ever. I felt the jitters already.

As usual , teacher signal to me cos Im always the first one to trial my hifz but today, Im not so confident but I came forward anyway. To me, the first one to read his/her hifz can get to relax the rest of the time after that. So suffer first, enjoy later..hehe!

Anyway, jitters crawling in from all angles. Suddenly, the first ayat....stuck...disappeared...kept repeating still stuck...teacher ask me to relax then read again. same problem. My mind blanks out! Teacher said take a look at the Holy Quran and read. Sat there for 10mins, tried again...same thing happens. Then I was asked to go back ashamedly but teacher was motivating me with a story.

He said Imam Syafie had this problem before. C'mon we all know how religious Imam Syafie is , right? How can he ever forgets? He has memorized zillions of hadith and the Holy Quran in such an early age. But it did happen, his teacher Imam Malik was surprised and so he asked Imam Syafie to reflect what he did wrong today. Imam Syafie cannot find anything amiss/wrong cos he felt that day is the same as any other day. Imam Malik ask him to think carefully again and reflect...and then Imam Syafie remembered that "He accidentally glanced upon a woman who passed by him"... OMG...accidentally? And u know how the women of Mecca dressed up in that timezone, rite? So modestly covered up. Subhanallah, just by glancing accidentally, he forgets that ..how about us...who actualy immersed ourselves in maksiat/zina mata everyday with TV watching, gossips spreading, magazines.....and other media that actually promotes maksiat...directly or indirectly. Especially maksiat mata (sins of the eyes) wil go directly to the heart cos it is sharp.

hmm...something to ponder about and reflect ourselves....

Anyway, I was stuck..and so I buck up then the isya prayer was heard and we went for congregrational prayer. Somehow I was abe to pray taubat too (Teacher suggested) , and alhamdulillah , I get to recite fluently as usual. I do not know what is my problem with Sura Ar-Rahmaan and it caused my teacher to feel perplexed too cos he knows that I normally will do my hifz well....

Anyway, next week, teacher will tell us more on problems faced by huffaz. Not that huffaz got many problems but due to their goal which is extremely delicate to the heart, body mind and soul both dunia and akhirat, it can be quite challenging sometimes, insya-Allah teacher will tell us next week and he will give us some ayats that can make us confident to recite our hifz especially infront of teacher.


TIP:
1) So do lots of sunnah prayer like taubat prayer to seek forgiveness from God directly

2)Take care of our organs well, prevent it from sins of the eyes, mouth, ears...and take care of our diet/food. Especially when there is a tiny voice telling u that dont eat it those food (even when it is HALAL certified or muslim owned eatery), best to avoid it...

3) When the Iqamat was heard (after azan), read subhanallahwalhamdulillahwalaliahilallahualhuakhbar 3X and Surah An-Nas 1 X, this helps to remove the jitters and boost some confidence..given by a Malaysian imam to teacher when he was supposed to lead terawikh congregational prayer (and he realised the Sultan was one of them!)Subhanallah...